


The Ace Family

by Buffintruder



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Ace Mis Week, Aromantic, Asexual Character, Coming Out, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-27 21:10:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17774294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buffintruder/pseuds/Buffintruder
Summary: Cosette has something important to tell Valjean





	The Ace Family

Valjean carefully watched his daughter from across the dinner table. Cosette hadn’t met his eyes once during the meal, and although it wasn’t rare for them to eat without talking, this time felt especially quiet. Between unusually small bites, she would frequently stare blankly at her fork before she caught herself and tried to eat more normally. Valjean knew something was wrong.

 

Normally, Cosette told him her problems. If something bothered her, whether it was large or small, she let him know. Even if she wasn’t ready to share details, she didn’t hide that an issue existed. 

 

Now that she wasn’t saying anything at all, Valjean wasn't sure how to approach her and ask. He didn’t know how he could help, if he could help, or how serious her problem was if she was unwilling to tell him. 

 

Was this the natural distancing of a child from their parent as they grew older? Cosette was sixteen now, in the second half of her teenage years. Perhaps she wanted her independence and disliked relying on him to help. Valjean wouldn’t be fond of the idea, but he would give her space if that was what she wanted. But her silence could also mean that the issue was something far more serious or terrible than anything she had confided in him before.

 

Valjean glanced back at his food. There were only a couple bites left, though Cosette’s slower pace meant there was much more on her plate. If he wanted to ask her if anything was bothering her, it would be best to do it now before he no longer had an excuse to linger at the table.

 

But as Valjean was about to open his mouth to ask his question, Cosette abruptly asked, “Can I tell you something?”

 

Valjean set down his fork, ready to listen to whatever Cosette wanted to say. “Always.”

 

“I don’t think—I’m not... I’m not straight.”

 

He hadn’t been expecting that to be the reason she was acting so oddly. It was far less terrible than some of the things he had been fearing, and his relief almost made him forget to respond. He scrambled for something supportive. “I, uh. Oh. I’m happy for you. I’ll always love and support you, no matter who you like or don’t like.”

 

“There’s more that I want to tell you,” Cosette continued nervously. “It’s—well, it’s hard to tell you, even though I know you’d love me no matter what. And it’s hard to explain. I’m sorry I’m not doing a good job of explaining this.”

 

“It’s perfectly fine, Cosette,” Valjean said. “Take all the time you need.”

 

“So. Well. It’s not well known, but I’m not making it up. I’m not the only one.”

 

Valjean never would have doubted Cosette, nor think her experience worth any less simply if nobody else had felt it, but her preface made him a little nervous. He couldn’t imagine the point she was getting at, if it was relating to her not being straight.

 

“I’m asexual. I don’t feel sexual attraction.” Cosette looked up at him, finally meeting his eyes. She looked anxious and uncertain, but also like something had been removed just slightly from her shoulders.

 

Valjean smiled encouragingly, but inside his mind was whirling. He hadn’t known that was an option. Though the LGBT community was not something he had ever been a part of, Valjean knew there existed straight people, gay people, and bisexual people. He knew that there were people who weren’t entirely female or male and that there were also people whose attractions encompassed these other or lack of genders. He knew sexuality could be fluid and that it could also be static. He had never heard of the possibility for no sexuality to exist at all. It brought the strangest mix of feelings: shock and terror and hesitation and hope.

 

“But, um. Sexual and romantic attraction aren’t always the same thing, you know?” Cosette said. “And sometimes people don’t feel one of those things towards the same genders that they feel the other attraction for. Me, I don’t feel sexual attraction, but I’m pretty sure I feel romantic attraction to multiple genders. I’m asexual and biromantic.” Cosette finished, and Valjean could tell that she had said all she really wanted to say at that moment. Now she was waiting for his judgement.

 

“That’s—I’m very glad you know this about yourself,” Valjean said. “You know I would never judge you for something like this.”

 

Cosette nodded, the start of a soft smile spreading across her face. “I know. I just—I’m really glad you’re okay with it. Not that I thought you would be  _ not _ okay with it, but I just wasn’t sure what you’d say. I mean, I trust you. But still.”

 

Valjean tried to smile reassuringly, though inside a strange numbness filled his chest. “It’s okay to be nervous for something like this. Opening up about something important is never easy, especially when there’s a good chance of having it be rejected, even if you love and trust someone.”

 

“Thank you,” Cosette said. “Is that all—Is there something you’re not saying? You seem odd. Distracted.”

 

Valjean hadn’t been trying to derail Cosette’s coming out. It was an important moment to her, and it should be that way. He didn’t want his own shock at the concept of asexualness (asexuality?) existing to steal attention that should belong to Cosette. But she was far too perceptive to not notice his internal turmoil.

 

“I have a lot of questions,” Valjean admitted, which was true. “I haven’t heard of asexual or biromantic before, but I didn’t want to overwhelm them with you now. I know how to use Google. It’s nothing important.” 

 

The last part was a lie. His heart felt like it was shattering from decades of confusion and hurt. It felt like the world was being remade, and something he had always thought of as a terrible fact had flipped the ground on his head, leaving him both unbalanced and soaring. But this wasn’t the time for that. This was time for Cosette.

 

“Is really that all?” she seemed even more skeptical. Valjean didn’t think he could lie a second time.

 

“I didn’t know it was possible to not feel sexual attraction. I thought... For a long time it seemed like proof I was lesser than the rest of humankind,” Valjean said, and Cosette froze. “I thought I was alone. And now you say I might not be. But perhaps I’m wrong. I’ve never felt romantically attracted to anyone either.” 

 

Valjean wasn’t entirely certain what the difference was. It made sense that there was a difference between romantic and sexual attraction, given what he had seen of other people, but Valjean would not have been able to draw the line himself. He had lumped them in the same category for most of his life, and since he knew he had never felt anything in that combined category, it didn’t really matter in this case.

 

“Papa...” Cosette looked like she wanted to hug him. “You don’t have to feel romantic attraction either. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s called aromantic. Lots of people are aromantic too. There are plenty of people who are aromantic and asexual and don’t feel either kind of attraction. You aren’t broken or lesser or any of that.”

 

Valjean hadn’t even realized how strongly he had believed that he was those things until Cosette told him he wasn’t. His shattered heart burst with too many emotions to name. He stared at his nearly finished dinner, tightly clasping his hands together, as he tried to regain a grip on his feelings and thoughts.

 

“I didn’t mean to make your coming out about me,” Valjean said, suddenly feeling guilty again. “I truly appreciate that you wanted to open up to me and that you feel confident enough in yourself to say this, for reasons that are entirely unrelated to my own revelations. But I think I might need some time to process this.”

 

“You aren’t stealing my moment in the spotlight or anything,” Cosette scolded. “Don’t feel bad because you’re realizing things about yourself right now, because you have absolutely no reason to feel that way. This is the best response that you could have given.”

 

“Thank you for saying that, but—”

 

“I’m not just saying it! When I first discovered the word asexual online, I felt so glad because I wasn’t alone anymore. The things I was feeling were real and valid and not just something in me that wasn’t working properly. If I could bring that kind of comfort to another person, then my coming out is worth so much more. And... maybe I’m being selfish, but I love you and I want you to share the experiences that I do. I wouldn’t have been disappointed if you told me you weren’t asexual, but if you are, then I feel so much less alone in this since my  _ father _ whom I hold in high regards is also this way. I’m so glad that I share this aspect of myself with you.”

 

“I see,” Valjean said, though his guilt did not entirely subside. “I’m pretty sure I am what you say. Aromantic and asexual. I am aromantic and asexual.” He felt the words roll of his tongue and they felt right in a way that Valjean hadn’t even known he had wanted them to.

 

Cosette was smiling so hard, but it was tinged with sadness as if she knew some of the pain this was bringing him. It wasn’t a bad thing that he had found out about this, but it dug up old memories of everything he had suppressed and hidden, of every time he felt out of place or inhuman because of something someone said or something he didn’t feel, of all the years that he hadn’t know this was possible.

 

“A lot of people shorten those terms. Asexual is ‘ace’ and aromantic is ‘aro’. People like you are aroace,” Cosette explained.

 

“That sounds nice,” Valjean said, his emotions still colliding chaotically into each other. It wasn’t entirely a bad feeling. “Aroace.” There was a nice sound to it.”

 

“Yep.”

 

“I suppose we are an ace family then,” Valjean tried. “Both asexual and excellent.”

 

Cosette grinned back at him. “Making puns already. You’ll fit right in.”


End file.
